Ugly Betty

It's a new year, and I finally got around to posting a new anecdote. Enjoy!

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I think it’s appropriate to inform you all (concerning my being a college student) that I am aspiring to be a Teacher of English to Students of Other Languages. Believe it or not, that is a major—TESOL.

Now, before you conclude that this post + my aspiration = the same thing, think again. In fact, they are the exact opposite. Betty is someone who epitomizes everything I wish not to be as a teacher. She is lazy, overly enthusiastic, and self-absorbed.

Say hi to Betty:

Part of my requirement for graduating is to observe various classes--to see different teaching styles, materials, and methods. Betty’s methods of teaching are contradicting to her students’ learning styles. They are beginning level students, trying to learn English…in English.

She also mistakenly thinks that she is a wonderful teacher, always seeming happy to teach her students like they’re learning, when they actually have no clue as to what is going on.

I am required to observe each classroom setting, consecutively, for a set period.

Betty is a rude individual. I was told by my professor to record my classmate during her practice teaching. She was teaching under Betty’s supervision. Betty’s class is 2.5 hours long. Most students come in late. (Would you come in early?) So I was allowed to start recording a little bit into the class to record better content. I attempted to explain this to Betty, until she cut me off in mid-sentence.

The icing on the cake in this scenario is that Betty asked my classmate and I to make a grid, or worksheet, for her students’ last class. First of all, observers are not responsible for making materials. Secondly, she could have done this herself seeing as how for the last class, no lesson plans are needed. Lastly, the students’ last day fell on a day I normally do not observe the class. I had been going every Tuesday and Thursday. She assumed that I would help make a “grid” and go to their class on Monday.

I did not.

Normally, I wouldn't mind doing the extra work. It wasn't that difficult to do, and I like helping the students. However, the last class I observed of her, she made small groups having an observer teach her students; that’s her job, by the way. Meanwhile, she collated papers.

Although Betty isn't someone I aspire to be, I can't say she didn't inspire me...to be a better teacher than her.

A New Year's Haiku

Hey! Happy New Year!

Make a good resolution!

...that's realistic.

What the Apple iPad Could Have Been...

Apple iPod Touch Giga 1st Generation

How A Nazi Celebrates Christmas: Secret Santa

I was reading an article earlier this week, and it gave me an idea to do a post on for the holidays. 

My first thoughts on a Nazi Christmas story were Secret Santa, and Hitler. Then I figured that I might as well include other important figures from the Nazi party--Hans Heinrich Lammers, Otto Meissner, and Hermann Goring. 

Although I chose to use real people as my characters, this is by no means a true story. It is meant to be an entertaining contrivance for the holidays, so please do not take offense to this cartoon. 

Hitler announces the holiday plans.

One week later...

Bert: The College Campus Bum

There used to be an infamous bum that frequented my school campus. His appearance screamed “bum,” yet he always had snacks by his side--more importantly, the money to pay for his snacks. In short, Bert was a large bum.

Bert looked like this.

My friend first discovered him because of his inappropriateness. Despite having such a large mass, he managed to find pants that didn’t properly fit him, which would constantly fall short of covering his crack.

...and crack really does kill.

Hence, her code-name for him—Pants Man.

I guess I should make a point of explaining how I know this bum’s name in the first place.

I was sitting at an outside-table of a restaurant I like, with a friend. We noticed that Bert was there, too. Snacking. Suddenly, another familiar bum around the area came by and greeted him by his name.

Hobble Lady comes to greet Bert.

They talked for a while, then she left, all the while I pretended to listen to music from my computer. Instead, I took note of their conversation.

Yes, this was the actual note. Yes, this did happen.

Now, I understand what I did seems creepy. However, Bert was the most entertaining bum around.

The second thing I should address is why Bert was so fascinating. Bert had an uncanny ability to show up about as quickly as you could mention him. 

 

"Did someone call me??"

One time, I had just arrived at school by the school shuttle. A friend brought Bert up and as soon as he did, low and behold, he appeared! Right in front of us, he appeared. This is hard to believe especially because he appeared at a corner at which I could see both sides leading to it. I laughed so hard in disbelief that I got out of the shuttle, hands on knees.

When I pulled myself together, he was gone. Not walking away. GONE.

In another remembrance, I hadn’t seen Bert in a while. I was leaving school as my friend called out, “I hope you see Bert soon!” As soon as she said it, he walked around the corner, right in front of us. I stood in shock as I watched him walk by, praying he didn’t hear his name.

He walked past us, nonchalantly.

Bert came around for quite some time. But then suddenly, he stopped. 

Where'd you go, Bert?